Just as many others have experienced before her, Jessica’s problems with prescription drug abuse and addiction began when she went to the doctor with a problem. It quickly progressed from there, spiraling completely out of control and taking over Jessica’s entire life, threatening to rip away all that had once been important to her.
From Innocent Beginnings
In 2001, Jessica went to her doctor to ask for help with her anxiety problems. Her doctor responded by prescribing Xanax. Unfortunately, this prescription medication did not actually help Jessica address and resolve her problems with anxiety – it simply suppressed the symptoms. After giving birth to her daughter and then her twin sons, Jessica found that her anxiety increased to such a point that Xanax was no longer effective in helping to relieve the symptoms. She returned to her doctor, who recognized that Jessica was quickly sliding toward the slippery downward slope of drug abuse and addiction and refused to prescribe more medication.
Jessica was unwilling and unable to seek out an alternative, safer solution to her problems, and simply searched for other doctors who were willing to write her prescriptions for anti-anxiety medications. As her body struggled under the weight of these potent drug substances, Jessica began to experience blackouts. However, she felt that her pills made her invincible, and she simply couldn’t stop taking them. Even when she began to spend every penny she had to buy more pills on the street, she couldn’t see how anything bad could ever result from her choices. That all changed quite suddenly, when she was arrested and jailed for shoplifting.
Finally, Jessica recognized that she had a terrible problem and that she needed help. Upon her conviction, she asked the judge if she could enroll in a treatment program in order to avoid jail time, and she was referred to McKinley Hall. For Jessica, it was the best thing that ever happened to her, and her family.
Jessica’s experience with recovery was that she recovered who she really was, as a person, before drugs had taken over her life. While in addiction, Jessica had felt that all her feelings and emotions were gone or numb. Getting them back can take a lot of time and persistence, especially in Jessica’s case where she felt she had to move through the shame of realizing how thoroughly she had neglected her children while stuck in her addiction. Her daughter was perpetually worried about her, how she was doing and whether she was recovering, and Jessica had to rebuild a strong bond and relationship with her to show that she was fine and able to take care of herself and others again. As she worked through her own recovery process, Jessica noticed that her children also seemed to be recovering in their own unique ways. Their behaviors improved, and they began sharing more openly and willingly with one another. For Jessica, it was yet another wake-up call that illustrated just how thoroughly her drug abuse and addiction problems had affected the lives of loved ones around her, and therefore how vitally important it was for her to resolve these problems.
Jessica also noticed that the motherly responsibilities that she once dreaded and viewed with intense anxiety suddenly appeared to be privileges instead. She loves working out the money necessary to buy her children shoes, and keeping track of their various appointments and educational needs. She finds that she is happy to be a mother, happy to be in recovery, and has once again restored her faith and self-confidence so that she can lead a healthy, happy and productive future.
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